A Mostly Fractured Take On Current Events

Soccer: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

In Current Events on May 23, 2012 at 2:37 pm

The year was 2007. Upon learning that the world’s most popular sport is soccer, I imagine that officials in Johnson County hurriedly began planning a massive soccer field complex just to follow trends. Planners had two ambitious goals for the project. First, it had to be a top-notch recreational facility that offered kids a way to get something antiquated called “exercise.” Secondly, the area had to give parents a surefire way to tire their kids out for the weekend so mom and dad could retain their sanity. On both counts, I’d say the Overland Park Soccer Complex has been a fantastic success.


Five Worst Foods Invented To Fight High Cholesterol

In Current Events on April 24, 2012 at 4:48 pm

The reason I like my doctor is that he’s an optimist. This is noteworthy since most doctors aren’t taught good bedside manners at Med School. Most are taught how to deliver a bad diagnosis or charge $850 for a Band-Aid. But my doc is upbeat. His positive outlook was evident last month as I had my cholesterol checked. Although it was high, the results were delivered with some hope: “Well, the bad news is that you have high cholesterol. But the good news is that you can change this by adhering to a strict diet of bland, odorless solids. 

Five Ways To Improve Your Morning Commute

In Current Events on March 24, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Joe Biden is the reason I now hate the color orange. In June of 2009, the Vice President made a visit here to kick off federal highway improvements. Amazingly, only three people fell asleep during the ceremony. Every day since then, my commutes have been filled with that nasty and vile hue. Orange cones, orange blinkers, orange construction vests, and orange warning signs. Like a science experiment gone awry, my brain is now hard wired to believe this simple truth: The color orange = Loud, invasive, mind-numbing road construction.